All because of fate
by Ciar
Summary: My first fanfic, Shuldig and Farfarello gets the worst side of fate. Warnings: OOC, Deathfic, Crawfordbashing, violence, yaoi.


Okay Let's see, this story is my first fanfic actually finished and sent out for others to see. I did finish one other with Yohji and Aya, but that one got lost when my computer broke down. Not that this has anything do to with my point.

My Point is that I don't own the characters, if I did this wouldn't be called a fanfiction and I would live in a nice house in spain somewhere. That hasn't got a thing do to with my point either. Gah.

I don't own the characters, I do own the story of this fic though. Don't steal it!

The lyrics are from the artist Camui Gackt and the song is Doomsday. Gackt is a wonderful singer, you should buy some cd's.  
Anyhow.

Warnings: OOC, Yaoi, Death of Character and some Crawfordbashing.

Don't take this wrong, I didn't even want to write this fic as I love these characters. But it just popped right into my head and (stupid as I am) I told Halkatla about it. She said I had to write it so here it is. Happy, Halkatla?  
I actually cried while writing this. ;;;

Excuse the title, I didn't know what to call it. So it was this or "Fate's a bitch."  
Ehmm.. Oh yes, there are probably some major faults in spelling and stuff, but since english isn't my first language I blame it on that.

/Ciar.

**All Because of Fate**

_Kirei na tsuki ga warau_

_Shizuka na yoru ni warau _

_Mou ichido tsubuyaita wa_

_Anata no namae wo... _

The pretty moon is smiling  
In the quiet night, it's laughing  
Once more, I murmured  
Your name...

Crawford woke with a start, his whole body drenched in sweat. The pillow didn't make a sound when it hit the wall, thrown by Crawford's strong hand. The moonlight lit his whole room and made the tears on his cheeks visible for everyone to see.

"So be it." The words were bitter, spoken from shaking lips. Crawford's sobs could be heard through the whole night. As he twisted and turned, trying to escape the vision he had just seen...  
"Shuldig... No.. Not you..."

The moon didn't make a noice, it just shone with its unforgiving light.

_Chirabaru garasu no ue de_

_Tsumetai kaze ga odoru _

_Anata no kaeri wo matsu wa_

_Nemuri ni ochiru mae ni... _  
Above the scattered glass  
A cold wind is dancing  
I await your return  
Before falling into sleep...

In a room a few doors down, a whitehaired assasin lay awake, waiting. Outside the wind was howling, throwing snow at the already white streets. But inside the room it was warm, only lit byt the evershining moon. The door opened and closed, Farfarello opened his eyes.

"Jei..." The one who opened the door whispered. Farfarello smiled, he knew that his lover couldn't stay away.

"Shuldig, you're late." Soft footsteps coming closer to the bed, the rustle of clothes landing on the floor and soon a warm body next to his.

"I'm sorry, Nags just wouldn't go to sleep. He was convinced there was a ghost or something like that outside his window. He didn't let me go until I went out and checked. He is a bit silly sometimes."

Farfarello's smile grew, he loved that Shuldig always made sure that Nagi was sleeping good every night. Even though it took some time, Farfarello didn't mind. Much.

"I forgive you." And with that the one eyed man rolled himself ontop of his lover, meeting the smiling eyes of Shuldig.

"Mmmh, Jei-love, you're heavy, get off." Shuldig realized a bit to late what he had just said and yelped when Farfarello's lips met his in a demanding kiss.

"Ofcourse Shushu, but I Do think you should help me with that." The words were whispered so close that he could fell Jei move his lips, Shuldig smiled.

"Awww, honeybun I'm tired can't we do this tomorrow instead?" The redhead smiled softly, well as softly as he could, and put his arms around Jei's neck.

Farfarello, who could never say no to anything Shuldig wanted, especially not when he was smiling like that, rolled them over so that Shuldig's head was resting on his shoulder.

"Ofcourse Shu, but I am counting on you to repay me for this tomorrow." Shuldig smiled and whispered a sleepy 'ofcourse' as an answer.

Farfarello smiled and waited until his lover had fallen asleep before he let himself fall away into the land of dreams.

The moon kept its gaze at the two men sleeping together in eachothers arms, protecting them from nightmares.

_Sakende iru watashi no koe ga hibiku _

_Yurusarenai anata no tsumi wo daite... _

My shouting voice resounds  
And I embrace your unforgivable sins

"Shuldig, I need to talk to you. Come here." Crawford said, sounding as cold as he looked. He looked almost like a stone statue Shuldig thought before answering.  
"Oh yes, my mighty master!"

Nagi hid his laughter in a coughattack. Crawford just looked at him and then turned and walked in to his office, telling Shuldig to close and look the door after him. The redhead did just that, wondering what Crawford was up to now, the words he spoke next was not something he had expected.

"I want you to stop being with Berserker, I will not allow either of you to slack off just because this," He waved his right hand a little. "This fling you have for eachother."

Shuldig just stared at the man he had always reespected, the man who had practically raised him, not beliving a word.

"B...but... I.. He... No... You can't... Brad!" Crawford looked at Shuldig while the latter tried to speak, but being in to much of a shock to say anything.

"You heard me, you will not be with Berserker, not with his body, not with his mind. You Will do as I say." Shuldig's eyes widened as he looked absolutely heartbroken, but soon after his eyes dropped to the floor, his bodystance loosing it's strength.

"Ofcourse Oracle, I will stop being with Berserker."

Crawford wanted to cry, this was not what he wanted.

"Good. Now, I have a mission for you. You are going to protect this man..." The rest of the words passed by as a blur, Shuldig didn't take them in. But he couldn't care less, Crawford was taking away the one thing that held him sane.

"Do you understand Mastermind? I want you out in less then thirty minutes, no talking to Berserker or Prodigy. Your hotelroom is already booked and so is the trainticket that will take you there. Now hurry."

"Yes Oracle."

As Shuldig left the room he didn't notice how Crawford's eyes became shiny. Or the fact that as soon as the door closed, the almighty Oracle broke down and started crying, cursing fate over and over again.

Outside the snow continued its way down to the ground, only to be stirred up again by the cold wind. An equally cold sun shone over the earth, not caring about sorrowful humans.

_Anata no yume wo mita wa_

_Mezameru koto no nai yume wo _

_Madobe ni motarenagara_

_Sotto tsuki ni dakareta... _

I saw your dream  
The dream you can't awaken from  
While leaning against the windowsill  
And being softly embraced by the moon

The next half hour passed in a blur for Shuldig, he didn't say anything to the other two, just as he was told. Soon he was packed and ready to go, so without a look back he went to the car and with Crawford at the wheel he was off. Without Jei.  
Back in the house both Farfarello and Nagi was confused, their redhead had just stormed out, not saying anything. Crawford wouldn't answer questions and soon they were gone. Thay looked at eachother and shrugged, stranger things had happened before. It was probably some new vision that needed this so as not to destroy it.  
Little did they know what the vision was, or that nothing would ever be the same again.

The sun hid behind waterfilled clouds, hiding away from asking eyes.

Shuldig swore over and over again, something had gone wrong. Very wrong. He was stuck inside an alley, bombs were going off everywhere. People screaming, gunfire, death, blood, so many thoughts at once.  
"FUCK, To hell with it!" Shuldig rushed out of the alley, ignoring the man he was supposed to protect. It was obvious the people shooting wasn't after him. They were after Shuldig. He was right, as soon as he was noticed all guns changed aim and started shooting at him. Shuldig wished over and over again that Farfarello would show up, realizing after every wish that he wasn't going to show up. He couldn't come, since he was still in Japan. Shuldig cursed Crawford again, he didn't even like Britain. Why did he have to go here to protect some wannabe when he could have been home, with Jei, enjoying life.  
Shuldig screamed as a burning sensation hit his back, his speed wasn't enough, they were to many. Another shot hit home in his right shoulder, the last shot he felt was the one in his right knee.   
The last thing Shuldig remembered was screaming for Jei to save him, and then it went black.

Darkness fell over a small town in Britain, hiding the man walking into an alley where the stench of blood was overwhelming. Soon the dark figure returned, carrying something in his arms. Something that coloured the snow red, something that barely looked alive. A weak moon half hidden behind clouds shone over the two figures, showing the tears running down a cold face. The only sound, a sob, escaped and drowned in the wind.

When Shuldig woke up again he immediatly realized something was wrong. How he knew that? Well, he woke up without a body of his own, trapped inside one of Jei's memories.

_Blood, screaming, fire, darkness..._

_Humans, tears, blood, crushing..._

_Death..._

_The fire coming closer, burning, ripping, killing..._

_Light, coolness, gentle hands, smiling, love.._

_Shuldig..._

Shuldig, rather, Shuldig's mind had immediatly sought out the memory and turned it into one of love instead. He had soon realized his mind had found a safe place for itself as his body recovered. This was quite normal among telepaths, when they got hurt their mind quickly left the body to stay safe until the body had healed enough. If their body died so did the mind, just a short while afterwards. Shuldig's mind had apparently thougt that Jei was a safe place. The only problem was - noone knew that Shuldig had saved his mind, he couldn't exactly tell anyone either. He was stuck until he could return to his own body...

_Moonlight, warmth, a body next to his, love..._

_Shuldig..._

_"Jei, oh Jei..."_

_Sakende iru anata no koe ga togireru _

_Yurusarenai watashi no tsumi wa tsuzuku..._

_Anata no mune wo anata no ude wo anata no koe wo...Subete wo _

_Itoshii hodo ni, Kuruoshii hodo ni aishisugita anata wo daite_

_Nando mo kowashitsuzuketa... _

Your shouting voice stops  
And my unforgivable crime continues  
Your heart, your arms, your voice... everything  
Until we love each other, until it drives us mad, I hold you who I love too much  
I destroyed over and over again...

"Crawford, finally! I've been trying to reach you forever! Where are you? Are you off to get Shuldig? Is he coming home now?" Nagi was relieved that he finally got a hold of his leader, Crawford had dissapeared a few days ago, and now he had answered his phone for the first time.  
"I'm okay Prodigy, stop chewing your nails," Nagi guiltily stopped doing just that, "And you are right, I did go to fetch Shuldig. He is fine, but has a headache so I'll stay here with him for awhile before coming home again." Crawford looked at the bed behind him, looked at the redhead lying there helpless. Bandages went around his chest, his shoulder and beneath the thin blanket he also had bandages wrapped around his right leg. Shuldig barely breathed on his own, small shallow breaths, almost invisible. Crawford knew that Shuldig had a few broken ribs, that he had taken bullets in his shoulder, his leg and his back. He knew this because he had seen it almost a month ago.  
"Crawford? Crawford? Are you still there!"  
"Oh, Prodigy, I'm sorry I.. I.. "  
"Crawfo.."  
"I need to hang up now, Shuldig is bitching about his headache. Bye now Nagi." Crawford pressed the red button on his cellphone, tossing the phone on the floor pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes. He had taken off his glasses earlier. He furiously rubbed his eyes whispering over and over again that he wouldn't cry, that he was strong.

Crawford wasn't that strong. Soon he cried openly, tears running down his smooth face as he watched Shuldig trying to breath.

In japan, two young men looked at eachother with questions in their eyes.

"What did he say?" Farfarello asked, running his let hand up and down his right arm. He had been doing that since Shuldig left, a nervous thing Shuldig used to call it. Crawford always called it weak.

"He said that he was with Shuldig, and that they were okay but Shuldig had a headache." Nagi worried his bottomlip with his teeth, something seemed wrong about the whole thing.

"Crawford was lying, Shuldig always bitches really loud when he has a headache. He wouldn't shut up just because Crawford was making a call. He would probably make even more noise so he could get a little pity from everyone." And he would have wanted to talk with me, Farfarello mentally added.

"You're right Farfie," Nagi nodded, that made sence. he then motioned for the whitehaired one tho follow him "Come on, let's find out where they are and see what is wrong with Shuldig."

Shuldig was still stuck inside Farfarello's memories, and it was scaring him how everything seemed to spiral down in to darkness. The telepath guessed that the shields he had put inside Farfarello's mind was starting to crumble. He had put the shields there a long time ago, when Berserker first joined Schwarz, To try and keep Farfarello as sane as possible. But now when he couldn't control them Berserker took over more and more of Jei, it would have been easy to put the shields back up again. But no telepath could do anything big like that without his mind in his own body, so Shuldig just hoped that he could return to his own body before Berserker took over and Jei disseapeared.

Outside the wind stopped, the sun shone alittle firmer on the ground. But still as unforgiving, still as cold... The snow willingly took the challenge and won, the sun once again hid behind the clouds as snowflakes started their journey down to Earth.

_Ima nara todokimasu ka?_

_Yasashii kare no koe ga _

_Anata ni wa miemasu ka?  
Akaku somatta kono ude ga_  
Does it reach you now?  
His kind voice  
Can you see it?  
Your arm, dyed red...

Crawford sat by Shuldig's side, holding his hand not saying anything. He had stopped talking a long time ago, his voice shaking. Then he heard a knock on the door, startling him.  
"Who is it? Answer! I asked not to be disturbed."  
"Crawford, open the door."  
"N...Nagi? What the fuck are you doing here?" Crawford didn't take a step towards the door.  
"Shuldig is our teammate to, open the door or I will." When nothing happened Nagi used his power to unlock the door and open it. Looking for Shuldig, when he saw him he paled.  
"Nagi get out of the way, let me get to... Shuldig... SHULDIG!" Farfarello pushed both Nagi and Crawford out of the way rushing to Shuldig's side.  
"Crawford, this isn't just a headache. This is a fucking gunshot. What is this? Why is he hurt like this, tell me!"

Crawford looked at Farfarello who stared angrily back at him, tears running from his one golden eye. Crawford paled even more then Nagi had when he saw Shuldig. Crawford was meeting the eye of Berserker.  
Nagi stepped in front of Crawford, breaking the stare. First looking at Farfarello then at Crawford, with a small twist to his hand Crawford felt himself being pulled out of the room, leaving Berserker with Shuldig.  
"Prodigy, stop right now!"  
"Oh no Crawford, you and I are going to leave them the fuck alone. You had no right what so ever to lie about what had happened to Shuldig. You're coming with me." With that Nagi tossed Crawford out of the room, himself following and locking the door after him using his powers.

As soon as Crawford left the room berserker retreated leaving Jei crying beside his love.  
"Shuldig, baby, wake up. Don't do this to me, not know. Come on, honey..." His words died out when Shuldig's body didn't do anything else then continue its laboured breathin.

_Inside Jei Shuldig was fighting to make himself heard, failing. He couldn't take this, his Jei, his love, crying over him._

Jei petted Shuldig's hair, whispering nothings to him. Jei could feel the shields Shuldig once set up starting to give away as Berserker pushed on them. Jei smiled, he was not going to let Berserker get out.

_Shuldig's mind fought against Jei's. He was not going to let this happen, he wasn't going to lose his love. Not now, not ever._

"Shu, always know that I love you honey. I'm never going to stop loving you, even when I burn in hell for hurting God. I'm going to beg Him that he let you live, that he doesn't take your life yet. Please baby, understand, I won't let Berserker out again, I'd rather die. I love you Shuldig, know that."

With that Farfarello got out a knife and with two quick cuts his arms started bleeding. Jei smiled, he was going to beat Berserker, he was going to win. All for Shuldig, he wasn't going to let his love down. Then he closed his eyes and let out his last breath.

_Furuenagara saigo no koe wo keshite _

_Yurusarenai futari no tsumi wo nakinagara _

_Hakanai yume wa kanashi yume wa setsunai yume wa owari wo tsuge  
_While shaking, the last sound is erased  
While weeping for our unforgivable sins  
Ephemeral dreams, sorrowful dreams, painful dreams annouce the end

Shuldig screamed, tears running down his face, then he screamed again, and again. Cursing everything in this world as he kneeled on the floor putting his arms around Jei's lifeless body. When Jei had ended his life, Shuldig's mind had raced back into his body, once again evading death. Shuldig cried out again, swearing, cursing, crying.

After a while Shuldig's cries turned into sobs, and the screams became whispers as he rocked Jei's body in his arms. With a final sob he started shaking. His world was ripped apart, leaving him alone, helpless. The one thing he loved and cared for, gone. He couldn't stand it.

With his last energy he lifted himself and Jei up into the bed. Arranging them against eachother, his arms arond Jei's waist. Jei's head resting against Shuldig's chest. And so with a last smile, and a last kiss to Jei's forehead, Shuldig let go of his barriers that kept the minds of the Earth out. He let every mind on the Earth in, he screamed once more when all thoughts and dreams overloaded his mind. And then there was silence.

_Yasashii yume ni itoshii yume ni ano hi no mama ni, Ano koro no you ni...  
_Into gentle dreams, beloved dreams, like that day, like that time...

A few moments later the door opened to show a terrified Nagi and a calm Oracle. Nagi quickly hid his face in Crawfords back.  
"They're gone?"  
"Yes."

"You Knew" Nagi accused, knowing he was right.  
"We can't rule over fate"  
"It was you who did it, you separated them" Nagi said, angrily.

"I had two options, this was the one I chose."  
"You should've picked the other one!" Nagi cried, leaving the room, running.

"Yes, I should have." Crawford kneeled in the dooropening, tears running down his face as scream after scream tore at his throat.

Outside, it started snowing again. Cold, white snowflakes landing on the already white ground. As the night progressed, moonlight shone upon the still figures of two lovers who had everything and lost it.  
All Because of Fate.

Fin.


End file.
